Created by: Kat Catlin
Let’s face it nobody has the ability to trigger us or push our buttons like our nearest and dearest.
But why is this the case?
In most cases, there are two main reasons
Firstly, because of the “accumulative effect”. If we are triggered, it is more often than not that we are reminded of things from the past. Times when the other person did something and what is happening in the here and now is just bringing the old stuff back up. When we have unresolved emotions about the other person or their behaviours, then we accumulate these emotions. For example, if we feel unsupported, judged, or criticised we notice it, and we store it in our energy field. Every time this happens, we get more evidence, which is the accumulative effect. It builds and builds then one day the slightest little comment can trigger us, and we come across as irrational or overreactive. Understanding that it wasn’t what was said at that moment that triggered us but all of the little mini-events that happened before can we become aware of what is actually going on…
The other is the “mirror effect” where we are triggered by something someone says or does. In this instance, it is not connected to something that happened before but all about what it brings up in us. You see, we all have a subconscious habit of comparing ourselves to others. It happens all the time without our conscious awareness. The mirror effect is all about what others reflect back to us and how we see ourselves compared to this.
” Other people have the ability to mirror back to us
traits we don’t like in ourselves and also
traits we would like to have more of…”
For example, we might get annoyed by the carefree attitude of others. We may call it selfish – when deep down we actually would like to be more like this ourselves but don’t allow ourselves to be as carefree. The same goes for the traits we don’t like, so for example we get angry when someone is very critical about a situation because it can remind us that we too can be overcritical at times and we would like to be more laid-back or positive.
In both cases, our triggers and emotions can tell us a lot about our own insecurities or limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves. When we can recognise this we can actually use this to our advantage and explore what really is the root cause. Most often they are core limiting beliefs that we are not good enough, and that we are alone or unsupported. Most likely these subconscious limiting beliefs were created in our childhood and are still running our emotions to date.
EAM the Energy Alignment method can help us identify and release these limiting beliefs and with it the trigger for unwanted negative emotions.
If you are in a relationship that challenges you emotionally and would like to explore how you can use turn the challenge into a teacher for personal growth and healing, feel free to get in touch.
